Updating the In Memoriam page is undoubtedly the hardest part of running this website. At the beginning of the year I lost two friends – Kara and Anna – and it has taken a couple of months for me to feel able to do justice to their memory here. Even writing this post I find … More Remembering, With Love
At Christmas, perhaps more than any other time of year, it can be easy to lose sight of our own worth. To be swayed by impossible ideas of how we should be, while forgetting to give credit for all that we are. Even healthy people feel pressure to achieve perfection at Christmas. And when severe … More Even When Christmas Is Too Much, You Still Have Value
Tomorrow it will be ten years since the death of my close friend, Emily Collingridge. Can it really be so long? Attaching time to loss often feels strange: it implies distance from an event that, in reality, is always present. Years may have passed, but it is always ‘today’ that a loved one is missing. … More In Memory of My Friends
From the darkness of the pandemic, the world is reawakening. Previously empty streets buzz with life. Friends and families are reunited, and people once again travel the world. It’s like seeing spring burst into unimagined life after the harshest of winters. Almost two years have passed since I published Life in Lockdown: What Matters When … More What It Means to Be Clinically Vulnerable in a World of Covid
Can illness and disability be overcome through the power of positive thinking? One could be forgiven for thinking so. In newspaper and magazine articles, social media posts and television programmes, a powerful message is constantly delivered: physical impairment need not be a barrier to dreams. You can be whatever you want to be. A familiar … More The Truth (and Myths) About Positivity and Determination
This summer I touched the sea for the first time in over thirty years. I sat on the shore and saw waves lap around my wheelchair. I felt the rush of sea air against my face and tasted salt on the breeze. It was magical. For a long time, I believed I would never see … More The Day I Touched the Sea Again After 30 Years
Freedom Day. It’s hard to imagine a name more starkly at odds with the reality faced by so many of us. I, along with millions of other clinically vulnerable people, have been shielding for sixteen months now. I have no idea when that will end, but it will not be today. With covid cases … More What Freedom Day Means for Those Who Aren’t Free
Forty years ago this week, on 17th April, my friend Emily Collingridge was born. She was a warm, caring and spirited young woman, whose fierce determination helped her carve a path through a life of tremendous suffering. On that spring day in 1981, no one could have imagined the impact that her short life was … More Emily at 40: In Celebration and Sorrow
Life with long-term illness is uncertain. The immediate present is unpredictable; the future unknown and often frightening. When living with a body that cannot be relied upon, it takes time to reach a place of fragile equilibrium. For me, that hard-won balance has been tested over the past year. I’m not alone in being … More Seeking Peace in a World of Uncertainty
Life has made me wary of looking too far ahead. Even before the turmoil of 2020, my road was one of uncertainty. New Year has long felt like standing on a cliff edge and looking down: twelve whole months can be too much to contemplate all at once. Reminders of time passing can be hard … More Is There Hope in a New Year?
A Life Hidden 