Being ill is hard. What an obvious thing to say – and yet how often it goes unspoken. I’ve written about many aspects of life with long-term illness: from the grief of dreams shattered, to the isolation and lack of support. But there’s a hardship at the core of it all that I’ve never directly … More The Burden of Chronic Illness That I Rarely Talk About
You are not forgotten. How powerful four words can be. They tell us that we are still part of the world; that our lives matter; that we are held in the hearts of those who know us, even when we cannot physically be present. This knowledge matters greatly in the isolation of illness, when … More You Are Not Forgotten: The Gift of Being Remembered
Through many years living with severe illness, I’ve come to know a lot about emotions. From the sorrow and regret of a life lived so differently to anything that might have been chosen; to the beams of happiness found in unexpected places. From the pain of feeling forgotten by the world; to the relief when … More On Gratitude and Grief
Today I updated my In Memoriam page, commemorating two friends who have died in the past nine months. It’s a page I always update with reluctance: my heart is heavy and I struggle to find words. It’s the one part of my website from which I gain no satisfaction in writing. And yet before publishing … More Courage Exists in the Darkest of Places
Recovery stories have been popular in the media lately. Most prominent has been actress and comedian Miranda Hart (a past supporter of this blog), sharing her experience of living with ME and Lyme disease. Her account of her illness and recovery has been widely shared across print media, talk shows and in her new book. … More The Trouble With Recovery Stories
Maeve Boothby O’Neill was a young woman with great hope for the future and a wish, in her own words, “to advance the cause of human flourishing.” She was a gifted writer working on her first novel, and a treasured daughter and sister. It is her family’s wish that she should be remembered primarily for … More Why Maeve’s Death Must Bring Change
Nearly four years have passed since the outbreak of the covid-19 pandemic. As the world fell still and silent in the spring of 2020, there were times when it seemed as though normality might be lost forever. Today the darkness of those times feels both a close and distant memory. The world is a very … More Why the Pandemic Isn’t Over for Me
We all carry narratives within us: stories about who we are and the life that we’ve lived. They shape our identity and influence our sense of place in the world. When these stories are our own, they can be empowering. But when they have been written by other people, the very opposite can be true. … More Reclaiming the Narrative: Finding the Real Me
Updating the In Memoriam page is undoubtedly the hardest part of running this website. At the beginning of the year I lost two friends – Kara and Anna – and it has taken a couple of months for me to feel able to do justice to their memory here. Even writing this post I find … More Remembering, With Love
At Christmas, perhaps more than any other time of year, it can be easy to lose sight of our own worth. To be swayed by impossible ideas of how we should be, while forgetting to give credit for all that we are. Even healthy people feel pressure to achieve perfection at Christmas. And when severe … More Even When Christmas Is Too Much, You Still Have Value
A Life Hidden 